At least he didn't kill me...

Where do I even start?  I am so grossed out by guy #2.  I'm not going to call him by his real name, but it sounds almost exactly like the name "Tad" and I hate it just as bad, so that his name now...Tad.

The nightmare actually started before the date.  I text him after work and told him I was going to take a nap before I started getting ready. I did.  However, I woke up to him calling me about an hour later.  I didn't answer.  He called me back immediately. So I answer with an obvious "I'm sleeping" tone in my voice, and he replies...

"Hey you, are you sleeping?"

"Yea, I was taking a NAP"

"I'm sorry sweetie, but it's 5 o'clock.  I just wanted to make sure you didn't over-sleep."

WTF dude, I am a big girl with an alarm clock. I've made it through my entire life without wakeup calls from you..  Moving on, I get ready and head out meet him at The House of Brasserie, (the restaurant was the only good part). 

He calls me as I'm looking for parking and says "I see you!" I get out and walk up to him and he is AT LEAST 3 INCHES SHORTER THAN ME.  He lied!! Right off the bat, he lied about his height!!  So I'm kind of irritated but I head to the table with him where there is a dozen roses sitting on my seat, and get this... a queen of hearts playing card with writing on it that reads "Our First Date 10/25/2013." Shut the front door. 

As we sit he tells me that the florist was sooo jealous that he was getting me roses for our first date.
Like roses aren't the most common thing ever...  He also told me that the chick that took his reservation, for the restaurant, was jealous too!  What? people make reservations for dates like every day!!

Remember I said he owns an antique shop??  Well, what he really meant to say was that he owns a junk yard of old car parts that he sells and trades on ebay. 

He asked about my past relationships and I told him about my daughter's dad, but I didn't want to talk about the other one because it puts me in a bad mood.  So, he tells me not to worry because he has these sugar skull tattoos on his arms and they (and he's screaming this while raising his arms in the air...) "will WARD OFF EVIL SPIRITS!!" 

Whoa, did this dude really just do that?  YES he did.  He had told me on the phone that he was a Christian.. And the Jesus tattoo he told me about was just a crucifix with a halo over it. 

Now for his crazy ex-wives.  (oh yeah, because you're not crazy or anything.. and BTW, he only mentioned one ex-wife on the phone).  He explains that one ex wife was "So stupid.  She took me to court for child support and left owing ME MONEY!"  Then he starts to laugh and with his stubby fingers, he creates a zero and yells "I make a BIG. FAT. ZERO!" 

OMG, this dude was nuts. (And poor).

In the meantime my girlfriend text me asking how he was and how the date was going. 

As I'm texting her back, Tad starts asking me who is texting me and what I'm saying.

What I replied was, "I'm okay, he is possessive already though, it's scary" and she texts back "Run!"  I tell him that I told her that everything was good. But he proceeds to lean over the table to peek at my phone! So, I turn my phone away and put it down. 

About 2 minutes later, after he asked me what we were going to do tomorrow, I got up and went to the bathroom to tell my friend that he was a nut and I was going to leave.  BUT, I forgot that I had laid my phone down and didn't put it in my purse.  ):

I got back to the table, I picked up my phone, and told him that I was ready to go.  He asked me if he could come spent the night because he had a few to drink (I knew better not to).  I told him "Absolutely not!  My house is my sanctuary for me and my kids and nobody comes over."  He screams "I'LL SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!"  Holy cow balls.

He pays the bill, walks me to my out and I get in my car completely avoiding any contact with him (as to not leave any room for him to wonder if he was getting a kiss, or a hug, or an I'll call you later... or anything).  I take off and head home making sure he wasn't behind me.  I go to sleep.  I woke up around 6 o'clock and I see that he had text me 5 times, and this is what they say..

"I read your phone!" 

"I saw what you told your friend!"

"Thanks for making me waste $200 on you!!"

"You're ugly and a liar like the rest"

"Bye!!"

Thank you match.com.  I'm speechless. 

I can only pray that he truly meant what he said when he said "Bye!!"

Now off to Costco to have a normal day, and do normal things, to try and feel normal again.